[轉貼]約會的藝術
約會是…
* 約會是讓愛滋長的活動
* 約會是時間、金錢和體力的投資
* 你認為呢?
約會的功能
* 生活娛樂的泉源
* 兩性交流的磨鍊
* 戀愛與擇偶的手段
* 培養感情的良藥
約會的分組與進展
* 團體約會
* 小組約會
* 單獨約會
* 固定約會
約會迷思池
* 約會就等於死會? (可以考慮以雙方是否有承諾來作為依據)
* 到了適婚年齡還沒有固定約會對象, 一定有什麼問題 (能不能解決遇到的問題才是問題)
* 從來沒有異性喜歡我, 一定是我缺乏吸引力 (找出原因, 並給別人機會來了解自己的優點)
* 同時跟多人約會是可以的 (視交往的程度而言, 並適度保持距離)
做好邀約前的準備
* 肯定自己 (知道自己的優點何在)
* 了解對方 (有無固定男女朋友? 約會的界限? 興趣? 工作時間?)
* 健康的心理準備 (要有被對方拒絕的準備 => 尊重對方的選擇)
* 經營好的印象
o 月暈現象: 當某人具有某個正面特質, 就推斷他也有其他方面的正向特質, 負面亦同
o 初始效應: 人會順著自己對某個人的初始印象來解釋新訊息(即使是反常的舉動)
* 認識人際吸引四要點
o 接近性(近水樓台先得月)
o 熟悉度
o 個人吸引力(個人特質)
o 相似性與互補性(物以類聚)
完美約會的安排
* 合宜的時間
* 合宜的場合與時機
* 合宜的人選與表現
地點選擇 VS 約會功能
* 有旁人且吵鬧處: 適合不甚熟識者, 重緩合氣氛, 化解尷尬
* 有旁人且安靜處: 適合交往初期, 重心靈溝通, 了解彼此
* 無旁人且吵鬧處: 適合交往穩定, 重共同活動, 彼此作伴
* 無旁人且安靜處: 適合親密愛人, 重無人幹擾, 親密行為
邀約的技巧
* 在對方心情輕鬆的時候
* 從閒談中了解對方想法
* 真誠、尊重, 不是在炫耀自己
* 不強迫, 給對方選擇的空間
* 具體說明約會活動內容
有深度的約會內涵
* 言之有物: 該談些什麼?
* 行之有禮: 約會加分術 (衣著, 禮儀, 分擔開支, surprise, 多元的活動, 體恤尊重對方, 給予肯定與溫暖), 約會泡湯術 (遲到, 爽約, 強迫對方, 亂髮脾氣, 矯柔造作, 朝秦暮楚, 放縱情慾)
約會後的省思
* 我們是否繼續深入
* 他剛結束感情: 我真正吸引到他的特質是什麼? 還是代替品而已
* 他潦倒頽喪: 目前連自己都照顧不好了? 我是同情還是愛?
* 他帶給你壓力: 一切免談
我們是否適合
* 工作態度
* 性格
* 家庭價值觀
* 婚姻價值觀
邀約的拒絕
* 令人失望的拒絕法
* 感謝邀請
* 溫和而堅定地表明沒有意願
* 讚美對方邀請過程中的優點
* 說明自己可以的程度與互動
* 令人希望的拒絕法
* 感謝邀請
* 對拒絕對方表示抱歉
* 何時還有空, 喜歡那種約會形式
* 讚美與表達欣賞對方的優點
* 分享彼此有興趣的活動或事物
* 再多聊聊一些, 討論看法和感受
–From Tsung's Blog
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跨年被你拒絕了!~鳴!!~
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